The premise of running a horse boarding barn seems simple enough. Buy a barn and some property with paddocks for grazing. Install an area outside for riding and charge horse owners to bring their equine partners to enjoy the benefits of keeping their steeds at livery and watch the money roll in. What a bountiful existence.
The reality is that you have to be just a bit bonkers to start a horse boarding operation.
Top 10 things to know before you begin:
1. Horse owners often know more than veterinary surgeons.
2. Insurance companies and the Spanish Inquisition (Monty Python version) have much in common.
3. Grass only grows once in a field but will grow everywhere else with abandon.
4. Hay and bedding have magical properties similar to the 'Vanishing Spell' in Harry Potter. Just say 'Evanesco' and poof - they are gone without a trace.
5. Clients will always arrive early on days when you are late to the barn for mucking out chores.
6. Supervising services from clients come for free - an added and unexpected bonus to help you through your day.
7. The best trainers are the ones sitting alongside the arena not the one working in the middle.
8. Fitbits and Apple watches don't measure stress levels - the number of glasses of wine you need to relax at the end of the day do.
9. Horses never colic, injure themselves or chew wood when you're looking.
10. If you find any spare time in the day to school your own horse you're doing something wrong.
It is not uncommon for horse barn operators to question why they are offering a boarding service at all.
Gossiping or fractious owners, minor melodramatics over the smallest issue and the need for constant monitoring of staff that seem unable to offer consistent care or show up on time were not mentioned in the barn management classes you took during your Equine Studies.
Indeed those expensive educational events seemed to overlook the human component in the boarding business. A degree in psychology may have been a better investment.
But at the end of the day. A very long and arduous day. The reason chosen by many to engage in the bonkers biz of running a horse barn is a simple one.
The horse.
Big, small or barely a horse at all, the four legged critters smell the best, snuggle the best, make us laugh, make us cry. They make us feel and feed our soul.
Do you often wonder how people navigate life without a horse in it? With no compass of how much they are missing out on? It is wondrous to consider that for many people, the notion of going out in all weathers to care for an animal that costs a great deal of money and effort to keep, and a sincerely large amount of hard-earned knowledge to understand, train and nurture, is a far-fetched idea.
And I suppose, if you really think about it - we are all a bit bonkers.
